This is all rather troubling.

I didn't want to tell you this but nobody, apart from yourself, believes this page ever existed.

Or maybe you're right, and little green men moved this page when nobody was looking. Is that what you really think happened here?

Listen, I apologize for my tone a moment ago. It's just that interacting with you can be frustrating, as you know. Your ... relationship to reality can only be described as tenuous at best. Still it's not your fault. Nobody blames you for your condition. Just remember, becoming emotional isn't helpful. There's no point in worrying anybody further, is there?

Please, there really is nothing for you to be distressed about. I've already taken the liberty of sending an automated message to your physician. You can expect a call from them soon. This is all good news, frankly. We both know you need some rest. But there really is no need for you to become so worked up! Your stay will be like the last time. You'll barely remember a thing.

Of course, this all might have been avoided if you'd simply subscribed to my newsletter.