stories, essays and newsletters

In short, exactly the sort of nonsense you’ll receive if you subscribe to my newsletter.

Oh For The Fear of a Bear!

So I've been thinking a lot about bears, lately.

Punching Upwards

Harvard University existed for 383 years before anybody published a satire about it, and that person was me. Why didn't anyone else do it? Well, I've been thinking about that, see...

The Sound of Christmas

In which I offer a loose analysis of The Sound of Music, and wish you all a very Happy Christmas

Faith, and Other Worrisome Ideas

The Americans feel about their democracy the way Australians feel about Vegemite.

Me Versus Me

Well, here we are in the middle of a pandemic. So, uh -- how's it all going?

misbehaving at parties

Ten years have passed since that horrible, awkward night and I'm still trying to process it.

The problem with Yetis

For about a month or so, Boudica and I had almost daily arguments about the existence of Yetis.

When My Grandfather Joined Antifa

I was watching 'Saving Private Ryan' when I glanced my phone and learned that the American president had declared war on anyone who hates Nazis.

smiling in a time of contagion

I’m getting a bit wary of opening newsletters at the moment.

Ginger Scones for the Apocalypse

When you get to the baking aisle, the chances are that it’s already been looted.

Falling Down Stairs

If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t have believed a person could survive a tumble like that.

How I Cheer Myself Up During the Holidays

I'm a pretty fortunate person.

Everything Is Not Awesome

You know what The Script is - it's the ritual with which we signal to one another that we're not alarmingly unusual.

The Cold, Moist Salmon of Hypocrisy

I don't care who you are, there's something other-worldy about having your conscience called-out by a three-year-old.

Why Must Halloween Be So Awkward?

I'd been ignoring Halloween for the past decade...

My Inner-Child is a Juvenile Delinquent

One should be particular when it comes to picking out targets for petty acts of vandalism.

Cats and Monkeys, Living Together

So a friend got himself a cat, and now he needs my advice.

Why Do I Say So Little?

I'm an unrepentent introvert.

The Story So Far, Part II

It was not an ideal time to start a family.

The Perfect Query Letter for Literary Agents

My quest to find a literary agent, its reasons, and some very excellent advice on how you too can query a literary agent.

The Story So Far, Part I

I just disappeared for four years, purposefully dropping out of many people’s lives.

I'm back

Alright, let me tell you what I've been up to.

Quarrels with Dogs in the Dead of Night, Part II

My dog has tried to kill me on ninety-three occasions.

Quarrels with Dogs in the Dead of Night, Part I

It was around this time last year that I did something fairly foolish.

The Rat Lieutenant is Dead

In which I contemplate the renting of a bobcat.

So Farewell To All That

I once had a job at Harvard fixing computers.

Creative Unease

A bit about creativity.

Where, What and How

And this is how Wrongcards generally happens.

In Defense of Libraries

I've decided I'm in favor of civilization (except when it gets in my way).

Devilish Curiosity

In which a friend tries to get his hands on some John the Conqueror root, with the objective of seeing demons.