My Inner-Child is a Juvenile Delinquent

I've been feeling a bit stressed-out lately because my job-title has changed to 'Indie Author', so I have to read all these marketing books and ...

20 June 2019 | 3 Minutes

Look, marketing books just tell me that I’ve spent the past decade doing everything wrong. Now, that’s okay, because for the past ten years or so I have run an ecard company that was deliberately and bloody-mindedly ‘Not For Profit’. I was supposed to do everything wrong because, among other things, ‘Ecards that are Wrong for Every Occasion’ is not an excellent business idea; that’s what made it so awesome.

But I could enjoy my profitless and pointless ecard company back then, because I had a more lucrative job, you know, working for the man and all that. Not that I really worked for anyone. I was a Creative Director, which is much like being paid to slouch about and tell other people that they’re wrong.

And that was then, before I became an Indie Author and a parent. Nowadays … well, I’ll just admit it. I read half-a-book about Why Newsletters Are Important to Indie Authors this week and nearly broke out in hives.

I also considered throwing a chair through a window but I didn’t because it was my chair. And also my window. One should be particular when it comes to picking out targets for petty acts of vandalism. But my point is that I’ve managed to make my way through the world by being honest and straight-forward, and I want to keep it that way.

I don’t think I have much choice. Creativity, for me, is about being in-tune with one’s inner-child. Which is all very lovely to say of course, except that, in my case my inner-child is something of a juvenile delinquent.

That’s why I find having a public profile so unsettling. Some people crave attention but it makes some of us apprehensive, possibly because we don’t want anyone to notice we’re at the back of the room carving graffiti into the wall.

Anyway, this month I’ve been making changes to the front-covers of my books (see below). I can’t really help myself.

I also just published a single-volume edition containing both of my two novels. You can get it from Amazon right now, but – for a limited time – you can send me an email and I’ll send you a review copy for free. See? There are perks to being subscribed to my newsletter.

What else have I been up to this month? I refurbished my website/blog thingy. And today I posted a story called Cats and Monkeys, Living Together in which I suggest that fewer than 5% of cats actually like their owners.

Today’s forecast: a storm of indignation, blustery winds and a light rain of marketing books going out the window by late afternoon.

Keep up with my nonsense

and get my stories sent to your inbox

No spam, just good nonsense.